As parents, it’s only natural to worry when your teen is struggling with something as difficult as trauma. You may notice changes in their behavior, emotions, or even physical health, and it can leave you feeling unsure of how to help. Trauma can be triggered by a wide range of experiences—whether a sudden event, ongoing stress, or something that shakes their sense of safety. For adolescents, these experiences can deeply affect their emotional and physical well-being in ways that might be difficult to fully understand at first.
What is Trauma?
Traumatic experiences overwhelm the nervous system and leave our teens unable to regulate. They feel alone in the experience, disconnected, and don’t know how to manage all the emotions.
Types of Trauma
- Extreme events (natural disasters, sexual assault, physical or sexual abuse
- Chronic or accumulated stress
- Complex Trauma (develops in response to prolonged and or/repeated traumatic events, such as child abuse or neglect, bullying, domestic violence)
- Developmental Trauma (experiences that occur early in life when the nervous system is still developing and impacts how the nervous system functions)
- Intergenerational Trauma (trauma experiences that impacted our ancestors and live on in us)
- Social and Historical trauma (racial and identity trauma) and Stigmatization (subjection to stereotypes, oppression and marginalization)
How Trauma Shows Up in your Teen
Mood swings, irritability, sadness, hopelessness, withdrawal from friends and family, loss of interest in activities they once loved, heightened alertness or jumpiness, blaming themselves for what happened, nightmares, headaches or stomach issues, substance use, self-harm, problems with focus or concentration, regressive behaviors, poor boundaries with others, or simply feeling “out of it.”
How Does Your Teen’s Body Respond to Trauma?
Your teen’s brain and nervous system respond to the trauma in four possible ways. Either by fight (aggression/screaming/action), freeze (remaining still, avoiding decisions, numbing out or disassociating), flight (running away) or fawn (people pleasing to avoid conflict).
Unfortunately, we don’t get to choose how to respond to the trauma. Our reaction happens in the moment and without our active participation. The reptilian brain, which was the first part of the brain to develop, makes the choice. The neocortical brain, where executive functioning happens (skills that help them think, plan, and control their actions), gets bypassed in these overwhelming situations. Sometimes adolescents can feel regret and shame for how their brain chose to protect them. These emotions can also be addressed through therapy.
When this surge of adrenaline subsides, the body and mind need to process what just happened. There is a specific sequence that the nervous system needs to follow to relax, release energy and calm down. When that process is interrupted, the nervous system gets stuck in the “on” position. Our teens live as if there is a constant threat. They continue to respond to themselves and others in the same way they responded in the initial trauma.
How Teens Can Heal From Trauma
There are many different approaches to resolving and renegotiating trauma. These are the methods that I find most helpful in healing from trauma.
Somatic Experiencing (SE): Is a body-based approach to trauma. SE allows the nervous system to complete or finish the threat response and release the stored up survival energy. I do this by gently guiding teens to tolerate difficult body sensations and emotions. We only go as fast as the slowest part of your teen to keep her from feeling flooded by intense emotion. We break down her story and experiences into bite sized pieces so as to not overwhelm her system as it was when the trauma occurred.
Brainspotting (BSP): Another body-based approach which incorporates listening to the body sensations as we process the traumatic event in our deeper, subcortical brain. Your teenage son doesn’t have to relive the traumatic event with the same intensity. BSP allows the body to not be flooded with emotion and physical sensations. BSP uses brainspots which are points in his visual field that are associated with specific emotions and physical sensations. This targeted mindfulness approach allows him to process difficult emotions and experiences stored in his body and long-term memory.
EMDR: A body-based approach using bilateral stimulation, which can help make the memories of the traumatic event less vivid and less emotional. When distress from a trauma occurs, upsetting images,thoughts and emotions may create an overwhelming feeling of being back in that moment. EMDR allows the brain to resume its natural healing and renegotiation of the trauma. The trauma will still be remembered but the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses are resolved.
I hope you gained insight into what your teen is going through, how trauma impacts their body, and the steps you can take as a parent to support their healing. Let’s walk this path together, one step at a time. I can help your teen renegotiate the trauma they experienced and heal.
Laura Ellison-Hutchinson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has been practicing for over 25 years. Her office is in South Denver and she sees clients virtually throughout all of Colorado. Laura loves helping teens and young adults heal from trauma, depression, and anxiety. She believes that humor, curiosity, and focus on both the body and mind are essential for healing and creating a fulfilling life.
